K: 3 in the A.M.

Here I am. Early in the morning. About to make some coffee.
Of course just as I started to make the coffee I was attacked by a rabid moth. Damn you moths, banging against my lights, flying in front of my TV during my movies, and scaring the shit out of me while you fly over my shoulder.

Anyways. I just got done watching He's Just Not That Into You again. I really like that movie. There are some sad parts, but the sweet happy parts... they give me hope. And, the movie makes me feel better about the way I act when I like a guy... because I am just enjoying the feeling of liking someone, even if it seems like nothing will happen.

I evaded Mothra, and my coffee is now in the process of going from grounds to liquid caffeine goodness.

I have been feeling rather lonely lately, but a thought has been pulling me out of unhappiness. I still get sad but, that's normal, and healthy. But I am overall... Happy. The thought is, my friends. I had never felt truly cared about before I found my good friends. Hell the first time I felt like I had REAL friends was freshman year, and now I have a set of friends that I would die for. That knowledge, knowing that there are people that are important to me, that I am important to. It's keeping me from falling too far.

One good thing I can mention is the fact that though I am in possession of cigarettes, I have not smoked them. I just don't need to. When I'm stressed I'll go through them in a flash, but right now I'm fine. I remember last time my friend sniped some for me was around christmas time. I smoked them all in two weeks because of my parents, haha. I'm glad that I'm not crazy addicted. Those things are bad for you.

Well I squished Mothra... Under a chopping board... The tweaker was going in circles on the floor... It had lost it's mind.
After that battle I went to get my coffee, and I got it in my cup, and I got out the coffee creamer, and when I poor it in, it's thick and lumpy.
Fuck me.
So I think, "It's okay, it smells good, and the expiration date seems fine... from what I can read of it, so let's just shake it." Next thing I know, the cap opens and it splashes everywhere. I wanted to cry a little bit. But it was okay, I cleaned it up, though the area is still a bit sticky. It's such a hassle to make coffee these days.

Today I went to my grandparent's Fourth of July barbecue. It started boring as all hell, like usual. But most of my cousins weren't there, and there were only two foster kids there, so I wasn't being annoyed too much. Eventually I went for a walk to visit Mariah, and since she had to leave soon I just straightened her hair and went back to my grandparent's house. I almost broke my phone on the way back though.
Once I got back we ate, and then I was so bored I took a nap. It was nice.
Afterward I watched Underworld Evolution, which was a good movie, and then I played Nines with the family and that was fun. So the day turned out pretty good, though it seemed like it would suck.

I think that my outlook on things has been getting better. I just hope to continue becoming happier, and gaining more self confidence so that when the right guy comes along I'll be ready emotionally ^-^
This has been another blog from me... I hope someone besides Mariah reads these.
Um...
Love Kyle<3